soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
