Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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