Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
