That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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