Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
