He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
