you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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