so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
