that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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