Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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