I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
