I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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