got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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