OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
