did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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