operation harelip BJ is a go
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
