You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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