she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
