just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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