Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
