I feel like I'm in dance class right now
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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