11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
