i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
