I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
