I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
