No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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