she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
