Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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