My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
