i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
