no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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