1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
