dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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