Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Can you bring me the toilet please
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
