FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
