He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
