Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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