What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
