her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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