scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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