So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
