If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
