it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
