one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
