Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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