I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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