ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If its not for food we ain't going out.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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