...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
