Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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