4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
