Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
