conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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